carbs winPosted: May 4, 2011
After my long run on Monday, carbs were my friend. And if you knew me, you’d know that, that doesn’t happen very often. Ask my good friend, the husband, and he would tell you that I normally kick, scream and cringe when he utters the words, ‘do you want pasta for dinner?’
I can see the fault in my brain immediately thinking carbs only means pasta, but it’s becoming a hard thing to correct. I guess my body’s conditioned my brain to believe that this is true, and that they are bad. This hatred for anything pasta-y didn’t come over night, but has been a long process in the making.
It started back in the day when this little thing called self-confidence stepped in. Now you see, self-confidence wasn’t very nice to me, she (he maybe?) used to leave my little, innocent mind alone, but over the years has slowly managed to creep in and make me think bad thoughts.
Your thighs are too big.
You definitely need make-up.
That dress will never look good on you.
And then there was the one dreaded comment that got stuck in my head…
If you eat pasta, you will feel gross.
I’ve somewhat tried to overcome this; I’ve done things to make it ‘ok’ with my brain by eating whole wheat and other grain pastas, filling my plate with more veggies than noodles themselves, or by portioning how much I should really be eating. I still have quite the pasta complex, but yesterday it didn’t matter.
This big run I had on Monday was different than my last big one. This time, I was more of a bottomless pit than the last. I ate, was fine for a while, then was hungry a short while later. And we’re not talking just hungry for a little snack. No, I wanted food!
I held off until just after noon and then it was time…time to conquer the pasta fear and have the leftover mac ‘n’ cheese I had put in the freezer. I was already having a small battle with my brain while it reheated, but to the best of my ability, I shoved those thoughts outta there!
This time, carbs won. I had no regrets and I didn’t feel gross after eating it. Maybe all I need is to run 10 miles to appreciate pasta a bit more, or maybe I just need more conditioning that eating stuff like this once in a while is ok! Whatever it may be, I know that I had no regrets yesterday and that is what matters most!
Q: Are there any foods you punish yourself for eating?